


Not the End

by SharpenTheSoul



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, My First Work in This Fandom, post 7x16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26751709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharpenTheSoul/pseuds/SharpenTheSoul
Summary: Clarke speaks with a ghost.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in The 100 fandom. I felt 7x16 was a little disappointing given how Bellamy deserved better. I am not much of a Bellarke shipper but the pair has always made sense to me. I hope you guys enjoy and that it's not too bad!! 
> 
> i know it's not "technically" Bellamy but even an appearance like clarke got with Lexa was better than no mention like what actually happened!

Clarke threw another stone into the water, the splash echoing in the night air. She was far enough away from their makeshift campsite to not wake the others, but sleep was not coming easy – not after what had happened.

Humanity was now her and those she cared about. The rest of their people – everywhere in the world – had gone to something better. Madi had gone to something better. She smiled at that; there was no more pain and suffering for her daughter where she was now.

It hurt to be away from her. Hurt so much that she did her best not to think about it. Yet, the thing wearing Lexa's body was clear – Clarke could never join them, given her actions with Cadogan. She felt no regret over her choice to kill the bastard, and would do so again.

_They came back for me_. She was so scared of being alone, terrified of spending her days on an empty planet with no one but Picasso for company. And while the dog was a faithful companion and good friend, she wasn't able to hold a conversation.

But now she had Raven and Murphy and the others. She'd made so many mistakes and given so much for her friends – bearing the hate and guilt and fear so they would not have to. And when faced with the choice, they had come back to be with her – even if their lives would be brief and fleeting in context of existing on a higher plane.

“I guess you were right, Bellamy.” Clarke said aloud. Even saying his name hurt – it bit deep into who she was. They had endured so much together, and truly had gone through hell and back for the sake of those they cared about.

She dismissed the ideas of “transcendence” and enlightenment as nothing more then cult propaganda, but in the end – what he'd seen on Etherea was indeed what had happened.

“I miss you. Every damn day.” Every time she closed her eyes, she saw his lifeless body fall to the floor. _Dead at my hands. I denied him this._ That was what agonized her the most – that he had believed, in all of his heart in what humanity now experienced and he could not see it. 

The dead could not transcend. 

So, it would be another thing to add to her pile of regrets and misdeeds. Between Lexa and him, Clarke could not choose. Yet the beings administering the test had chosen for her – and she had felt a groundswell of emotion and love seeing the Heda she had once loved again. Even if was not really her. 

But part of her wanted to see Bellamy, too. 

“The Judge was correct. Yours is a curious species.” 

* * *

Clarke felt her heart almost leap out of her with fear as she stood, ready to confront whoever was here now - 

Instead she found herself face to face with a ghost.

Bellamy looked as he did when she had last saw him; he wore the white robe of the Disciples and was clean-shaven, his hair still proper and neat. The bullet hole in his chest was still there, too; a gruesome reminder of what she had done to protect Madi. 

Just like with Lexa, Clarke knew that it was not really him. The real Bellamy was gone. 

Yet she threw herself into his arms, the tears already falling down her cheeks as she did so. Her hands wrapped tightly around him, the grip as tight as she could make it. 

She felt the being rest its hands on her back, just as the other one had done. And while the touch was cold and foreign, it was still familiar. It was still Bellamy's. Still felt like his hands, as worn and callused as they were. 

Clarke wiped her eyes, the tears now making her vision swim. “We...I never got to say goodbye.” she choked out. At least with Lexa there had been some closure; she had been there when the life exited her body. But with him – with him - 

She had killed him and left him to rot. And that was what hurt the most. 

The being nodded.“We were torn on what form to appear to you as, Clarke.” it said softly, “your love for both of them was equally as strong. As devoted and passionate.”

Reaching out, she took Bellamy's hand. “Sit with me a while. Please – I know you aren't him. But...indulge me.” 

She would not let go. Even as they sat down, she kept hold of his hand. 

“You and your friends intrigue us.” he said, looking down at her hand, “they, allowed to transcend, choose to return to a mortal form for their love of you. And you, one who failed the test...but in a most unique way.” She thought a ghost of a smile crept along his face as it said this. 

Clarke rested her head on his shoulder.  _This is an alien, Clarke._ Her mind warned her otherwise, but all reason had gone out the window when she had stepped into their test. When she had saw Lexa standing before her on that pier. 

“I bear it so they don't have to.” she whispered. 

The stars twinkled above them as neither spoke. It was a blissful, peaceful moment for Clarke; she was resting in the arms of one she loved. 

One she had killed. One she had failed and condemned. 

* * *

Bellamy looked at her. “Madi speaks very well of you.” he smiled, and she felt herself wilt. 

_The damn thing smiles like him._

Yet her heart felt lighter at the mention of her daughter. “Is she..happy?” she asked, lifting her head up. She had to know – to really know, to hear it from one who had experienced the same thing that she had. 

“Yes.” he answered, resting his remaining hand on her own. “They all are, Clarke.” 

The tears came again. “I'm glad.” she said, looking away from him. The guilt had begun to swim again.

Clarke trembled. “Except for Bellamy.” she whispered, turning her gaze back towards him. “He...he believed in me. But I couldn't believe in him.” 

She cried for Madi. She cried for Bellamy, both. One of them was happy and free, beyond the burdens of humanity and pain. Another was somewhere else; somewhere she had sent him over a fucking sketchbook. 

Her skin jolted in surprise when he caressed her cheek. “Do not think of what you call 'death' as the end, Clarke. You and Bellamy will share the same after-world; when you have died, you will not transcend – this was already decided. But you will be reunited with those who did not transcend. This includes Bellamy.” 

“Why are you telling me this?” Clarke bit down on her lip, sniffling. “Aren't you supposed to be...well, a higher being? Preaching all of this transcendence and utopia I will miss out on?” 

Bellamy laughed. The sound was musical. “We are one with those who have joined us. I suppose that we gained some of your species' propensity for – what is it called - “thinking outside the box.””

Clarke took his hand and kissed it.  _Death is not the end._ “I...I hope he will forgive me.” 

“He cared for you, Clarke. Even in his last moments, his thoughts were of you.” he responded softly.

“Stay with me a while. Please.” she begged, resting her hands on his chest. “Let me be selfish. Let me have this. I loved him...so much.” 

Bellamy nodded – and planted a kiss upon her brow. 

The gesture made her almost leap from her skin, her heart fluttering wildly. She found her breathing growing slow and shallow, as it did around the real Bellamy or Lexa. 

She rested her head on his shoulder again, and wrapped her arms tight around his body. 

“It's okay, princess.” Bellamy whispered. 

“ _I forgive you.”_

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please feel free to comment, I love comments and feedback! I felt like writing a bit more of this story, though I don't think it's as good I hope you all enjoy my take on things <3

He was there the following night as well.

Clarke chose not to tell anyone about Bellamy's appearance – at least, not yet. She wanted to have this – she needed this. This feeling of closure, of comfort, of some kind of _hope_. Hope that even if he was not with them now, one day she would find him again.

“Will you stay long enough to speak to Octavia?” she asked, holding his hand as they took a seat on a fallen log. Out of all of her companions she had deserved to see him. He was her brother, the one who always protected and looked out for her.

_Like he was doing when I shot him._

He looked to her, his eyes twinkling in the night sky. He wasn't _her Bellamy_ , but damn it these aliens knew how to imitate. “His sister.” he said, looking to the flickering torches of their camp. “She endured such pain, such...change. It almost consumed her – yet she helped to save your species in the end.”

She remembered Octavia's time as Bloodreina; the time she left Bellamy to die in the fighting pits for daring to put the Flame into her daughter's head. The anger she felt had blinded her to what was really going on; that he was trying to save them.

But the old and dark Octavia was gone – and in her place was a better person. Someone that Bellamy would be proud of. “I wish he could have seen how she changed.” she whispered, feeling the emotions bubble inside her again.

“I cannot speak for the dead, Clarke.” Bellamy replied, putting his free hand on her shoulder, “but he always loved Octavia. Even when she was Bloodreina. It speaks to the familial love your species has for one another. A...heartwarming concept.”

“Madi.” Clarke smiled, wiping at her eyes. “Just like I love Madi.”

“Exactly.” he replied. His voice was soothing, even now as she felt her heart break for her child.

Gazing to the sky, Clarke watched the twinkling stars. The gentle trilling of insects filled the air around them. “If I had to choose, I would do it all over again. That's just human nature, I suppose. I dunno how to explain it to you.”

* * *

“You don't have to, Clarke.” he assured, gently squeezing her hand. “Since your species transcended we understand who you are. Your emotions. Thoughts. Feelings – they remind us of our own beginnings. Something we had forgotten.”

That made her laugh. “The almighty judges of the universe were once meat sacks like Clarke Griffin, the worst test taker of them all?” she quipped.

Bellamy shook his head and smirked. _God, stop doing that._ “Eons ago. So long that most of us do not remember. Yet we reached transcendence, and we wanted others to experience it with us. Those who were worthy.”

“Alright.” Clarke laid her head on his shoulder. The warmth of his body felt as real as it had so many times before with the real Bellamy. “Enough talk about transcendence. I just want to watch the stars with you.”

“You disagree with us.”

Disagree? Clarke hated the idea. The idea of a species – one as powerful and supreme as the one now impersonating Bellamy – judging an entire people based on the actions and experiences of one individual. “Does it matter?” she said, trying to avoid the subject.

“To borrow a phrase you are fond of – indulge me.” Bellamy kissed her on the top of her head.

Blushing, she sat up. Turning to gaze into his eyes – those perfect brown orbs – Clarke caressed his cheek. _It's not him,_ she told herself again. _It's a being that likes playing with me._ “If you met me before my...experiences...on the ground or on Sanctum, I would be a completely different person to take your test. A better person.”

She'd buried that part of her with Wells, Atom and the others who died so long ago in that drop-ship base camp, that first blunder onto the ground as 100 criminals. _They were the lucky ones_ , she thought.

Her best friend – she'd shared all of her secrets and parts of her soul with Wells – thankfully did not live to see what she became.

_Wanheda. The Commander of Death._

“An entire species can't be judged based on the actions of one person.” she said, her fingers gently running along his cheek.

Much to her surprise – she expected another lecture as with Lexa – he nodded. “I understand. Truly, we all do.” he said, allowing her caresses to continue. “You must see as we did – human morality is totally different to us. When you have many different species as part of your universal self, morals and right and wrong – these concepts – are thought of in more abstract ways.”

“If I could explain it to you in a way you would understand...” he frowned. “Know that we never – or will ever – judge with malice or hatred. But, perhaps we have been too abstract. We need think of this further, it seems.”

_Still doesn't make sense_ , she thought. But his reasoning was....almost soothing? “I appreciate the attempt.” she smiled.

Over the water, the sun had began to creep into the sky. The camp would be stirring soon – Murphy, Miller and Jordan were going out to gather more sturdy logs for building.

* * *

Rising off the log, Bellamy gazed toward the orange haze. “Our time is up for now. I do not wish to upset your friends.” he said, looking down at her. “These...episodes...are intriguing to me, Clarke. I shall “see you tonight”.”

“Give Madi my love.” she said, rising to stretch her legs.

He nodded – and just like that, she was alone at the water's edge once more.

“Until I can see you again, he's all I have.” she said as she made for camp. The alien was not Bellamy. Her Bellamy. She knew that, but she felt at peace with him – or it, whatever it may be.

_When we meet again. Not "may", but "when"._

* * *


End file.
